I almost failed this block. I've not seen my consultant lead since the day I met him - this, I now know, isn't uncommon. I also now know, he doesn't have a clue how to use the eforms app. He seemed to believe that the procedural skills was something that he needed to look at to decide whether or not we pass or fail the block. That's for the medical school, not you.

Next he went through every single e-form. Now these past two weeks have been a real step back for me. I've not been attending the things timetabled, nor have I ever attended a clinic; this was because as we ran up to OSCE's I basically decided, ain't nobody got time for tha'. This decision was assured further when it became clear that my consultant doesn't run any Urology clinics. But essentially my summary for this block looked poor - and now I was about to be failed for it. Rightly? wrongly? - it's a bit annoying when there are some people people (boys, i'm looking at you) don't come in at all and I, who has admittedly done the bare minimum, face failure.

With some quick talking and some back up from a friend he did, eventually, begrudgingly sign me off. Thank fuck, because I hated that hospital.

We also had our final Clinical Debrief session this week. This involves sitting down one-to-one with your tutor and getting feedback on "what went well" and "what didn't go so well" (fuck me, they love those phrases). I spoke to my tutor about our group as a whole as he said he couldn't believe what a range of people our group had and how there is someone that fits every single medical student stereotype. There is the frantic tick-boxer who absolutely has to get everything done by the book, there is the cocky arrogant one who thinks he's the absolute shit, there is the care free whimsical one who just looks stunning and get's amazing grades, both with ease, there is the absolute brain box who has no social skill whatsoever etc. And he really hit it on the head. What did he say about me?

He said I was very chatty! (I was a bit surprised! Was I? Was I mostly just talking shit? Is this good or bad?... oh, point and case) He said I bought a lot of energy into the room and that got people going. He asked who i thought the natural leader  of the groupwas... I was stumped. Me, apparently it is me. I laughed out loud when he said this. "No, Chris, you've definitely got that one wrong. I don't think anyone looks to me for guidance - and rightly so!" - He said this was just his perspective as an outside that's worked with us for 4 months. Interesting feedback any way!

Yesterday we were e-mailed our OSCE allocations. This is the time and day of when our exam will be held. They appear to have done it completely randomly in terms of which base hospital goes to which exam site. In fact we are all mixed up so it's all a bit confusing and fills me with dread. I'm on the final exam day (boo) first cycle (yay - can go in, do it, be done, and sit quarantined for the rest of the day). This has sent all the panic in full swing. I am endlessly wondering what I should be doing and i've taken to having to fully create a timetable the night before so I know exactly how I'm spending every hour or I honest to god think I would otherwise just sit here wondering about what the fuck to do eating a cheese string hoping it just came to me.

On that note, I've got themed case discussions later and I haven't even looked at the themed case for the week so I better get cracking!