Why isn't UCAS over?!

After resigning myself to a rejection from Aberdeen, and thus, counting 3 confirmed rejections overall all together so far, I really wish Liverpool would get back to me, and tell me either way, just so the process is over.

Word on the street is that it should be this week. Tomorrow even, which isn't doing anything for my stress levels at all. I'm finding it quite difficult to revise without an offer, let alone this weight on my shoulders. The whole medical-application process for me has been horrendous. It's been agony every step of the way.

I was ultimately, very disappointed with my GCSE's. Don't get me wrong, I didn't work for them until it was way too late, not knowing what I wanted to do. This was at a time where places like Birmingham medical school wanted 8.5A*'s minimum, and going to a top grammar school, most of my friends had at least 7A*s, and every one else had around 10. So when I got my 1.5A*s and 7A's I cried for weeks. I knew I was well below average in my school.

Then came AS's - preparing for the "big jump" as it were, and school constantly drumming into us every 5 minutes that it was a "big step up", and we'd need to "hit the ground running," and it would be "difficult to say the least" - yeah yeah, I got the message. Come January exams, I got AAB. I was bitterly disappointed leading to just another wave of flood gates opening, as I hadn't averaged at over 90% in any of my exams. I was determined to resit them all in June.

I did, and this had a knock on effect on my non-resit exams. August results hit me in the face with ABCC. Disaster - these grades certainly weren't good enough to get me the AAA predictions I needed, and even then, most medical schools would look at my application like a joke - a C at AS to an A grade overall was quite a risk to base a medical offer on.

My UKCAT was a mere 627.5 - for a test thats meant to only be about measuring intelligence, and capabilities to be a doctor, it's pure bullshit. When this test was first trialled in 2006 the average was 600, however year on year, it has been increasing, going directly against the notion that the UKCAT is a test that can't be prepared for.

After several weeks crying my hearts content out, bearing with this idea that I may well have screwed up any opportunity to get into medical school and be a doctor, I needed a plan of action. I was in a very difficult position, at my current school, I'd be predicted a maximum of AAB, and thus automatically rejected from every medical school in the country upon application. A 627.5 average was now only "just above" the average, as for 2013 entry, the average score was now 625. I had to reassess all my choices, and somehow manage a swing an AAA prediction to stand any chance at even applying this year. I moved schools, got predicted A*AA (by some sort of miracle), and applied to Aberdeen (8% emphasis on UKCAT), Keele (borderline emphasis on UKCAT),  Liverpool (no-emphasis on UKCAT) and HYMS (50% emphasis) - finally an application, that might stand a chance.

My first rejection was HYMS, and I was absolutely fine with that, I could see that coming a mile off. An interview at Liverpool kept me satisfied for a while, until of course interview day came, I completely mucked it up, and spent the next 10 days wallowing in bed. Then Keele rejected me, some 3 months later - which was a real blow to the system, leading to just a bit more crying. And now here we are, still crying, agonising over every step taken.