Wednesday, 10 December 2014

Tis' the season to be...dying of exam stress falalalala

It's December all ready!

I say that like this term has gone quickly... I guess it has as a whole but actually because I've done and felt so much, it really doesn't feel like it. It feels like a year of my life has been crammed into 10 weeks? The passing of time is so weird at university. It's a bit like waiting for your school day to end so you can go home, except it never ends...

A couple of things to mention:

1. About a month ago I hit a really hard place full of insecurity, self doubt and wallowing. Somewhere I knew it would get better because if there's anything I've learnt over my 19 years it's that it always gets better but I struggled to see that at the time. Now here I am, far more sure of myself, happy to be here and I already know, this is my time, yeah it's on (to quote Drake himself)

2. You have to keep making an effort. It's easy to get to uni, think you've made it and ask why aren't all the good things coming to you? You have to keep going and getting them, keep attending things - even if they're shit the first 3 times, it takes time. It was a long lesson to learn but I've learnt it now, I know what to do.

3. Following on from that, say yes. Keep saying yes to opportunities and things that you're unsure about. Even if you do it alone, fuck it - what is this need to only do things if someone else you know is doing it? You'll meet someone else doing it, you don't need someone already. You'll never think fuck, wish i'd never done that - because even if it is shit and you do end up hating it, hell - at least you tried it. Rather live knowing then live forever wondering. (Look at me getting all philosophical!)

And now here we are, a bit like 2 years ago running up to the Jan Exams. I don't think I've ever been more lost - so unknowing about how much to learn, where to even begin, how will I ever learn all this - it's ridiculous. It makes me nervous and anxious but as long as I keep trying to do something about it, hopefully I should be OK.

Hope y'all are getting on OK, drop me a comment.

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