That job...current news and looking forwards.

I walked in, greeted Lou, sat down

"So, when do you go to Medical school?" she asked straight faced, dead on in the eyes but not unfriendly, just curious.

This was how my interview for that 'Junior Admin' post I mentioned in my last post began. I froze, confused as to whether I had given in my C.V. or personal statement. Eventually she said, "It's OK. I'm very good at reading C.V.'s. I figured given the prestigious school you went to, the excellent grades you've gotten and the work you're currently doing you had either crashed and burnt and were looking for a whole new career or you've taken some time to relax and you're going back to education shortly. I can see right now in front of me you haven't crashed so it must be the latter".

Blimey, she is good, I thought. Anyway, we had a great interview which was more like a chat about how we both got to where we are now and she said she'd be in touch. She has, just to say that she is looking at making a new opening for me since the "Junior Admin," role she initially advertised for was for someone who is sticking around for at least a year.  Nothing has come of it since. Hey ho, back to work we go.

Speaking of which it has been manic recently. 4 dead in 4 days. I know people die but bloody hell - all at once?! I saw some particularly terrifying things, including walking into a man with a 4 inch gash on the head laying on the floor, a pool of blood out cold. I've heard a family scream and hauntingly cry out after being told the horrific news that yes, x is dying. I've watched a nurse have a break down in the middle of handover having been told she has made a drug error and she will be suspended and reassessed. I've seen anxiety settle in when the sister breaks the news that yes, that man's death will be going to coroners court. Fucking hell.

Stuff like that make me terrified to be a full practising doctor. When it's the nurses patient in the trouble, there is nothing like seeing the blind panic rushing through the staff nurse looking after him as they realise it's their head on the chopping block. The tiniest mistake; giving fluid y too soon but only because fluid y was given 3 hours late earlier that day. Or abandoning the mens bay for just 2 minutes to grab drug z. Urgh, it's been tense to say the least.

Looking forwards, I've got my visit day to Manchester soon. Really looking forward to getting out there and making friends already. Watch this space.