This is not easy

Over the past fortnight, i've seen several of my friends break down and cry about how hard this all is. About the sheer frustration they feel trying to study for a career they once dreamt about, about watching the NHS be torn apart right in front of our eyes, about wanting a better a quality of life then we would get as doctors. We're not saying we'll have an awful quality of life, no, but it's certainly not what we once thought it would be.

It seems like nobody actually wants to do this any more. So why are we? Because it's Medicine, no matter what, will be a good degree to have. Whether you establish your whole career based on it, or whether it's simply a platform to go onto better things; a medical degree isn't a bad thing to have under your belt at all. This is what I tell myself when I have been sat in the library for 12 hours. My exams are around the corner and I think about how difficult this is.

Of course it is. It was never going to be easy; but you knew that, didn't you?

May be it's because i'm doing something so difficult for an end game I'm not sure I want.

This semester has been the GI tract, renal physiology and hepatology. It wasn't quite the "doddle" it had been sold to me as, post neurology as it is so boring my eyes could bleed but it is a step off the high-speed train semester 3 was. I've been focusing my revision more on lectures than I ever have done; I have literally never done this before. It's like I didn't believe the lecturers, I needed to seek clarity and confirmation elsewhere, but this term there is such little guidance into what we actually need to study that lectures are all I have to go on...Also completely sacked off anatomy this term - not my fault I swear, but when I put in all the hours god gave last term, I don't see the point in spending hours on something that doesn't benefit me at all. It's a bit scary to think out how little anatomy you can actually get through medical school with though.

There have been lots of changes to Year 3 implemented too. Including how placements are run and how we learn from patients. We were given a Clinical Skills Reasoning session the other day, where one PBL group worked with a robot patient (where our tutor in the next room had a mic) and had to try to monitor / examine it. It was great because the other PBL group was with the tutor who had the mic and all the tech, where you could see on a big screen the HR, breathing sounds, cameras around the bay and you could actually change the conditions the robot patient was in. For e.g. my tutor changed the heart sounds to a murmur and gave the patient a really low BP and things, while presenting with abdominal pain. Really interesting to work with such fantastic technology and look forward to seeing how this works next year.

ANYWAY, back to the books for now...